Wherefore, honest and wise men and women should be sought for diligently.

(The day before the Septmber 2013 Australian Federal Election, I made the following post on Facebook. I post it here for my own historical records.)

I was asked by a friend yesterday - and so there is no misunderstanding, Dermot, I still consider you a friend - "Are you a Labor voter Colin?" I guess recent comments I had made suggested to him this was the case.

My immediate response was a somewhat flippant "I am not and have never been a member of the Communist party. I do not and have not adhered to the tenets of the Communist party. * * * I have never followed the Communist party line." If you don't get the reference, look it up.

However, it has since got me thinking. In my lifetime I have had the opportunity and privilege of exercising my democratic right in this great country, and this great state, nine times on a national level, seven times on a state level, and I believe I have never missed a local council election during my "Eligible to Vote" lifetime.

During that time have I ever voted for a Labor candidate?
Indeed, I have.

During that time have I ever voted for a Liberal candidate?
I have, yes.

During that time have I ever voted for a Green candidate?
Yes indeed.

During that time have I ever voted for a Democrat candidate?
For sure, and I miss them!

During that time have I ever voted for an independent candidate?
Certainly.

So what does that make me, politically? It makes me someone who endeavours to follow this (to some, familiar) tenant:

"Nevertheless, when the wicked rule the people mourn.
Wherefore, honest men and wise men should be sought for diligently, and good men and wise men ye should observe to uphold; otherwise whatsoever is less than these cometh of evil."

For those who recognised this tenant, you would understand why I believe this to be a God-given mandate, so:

During that time have I ever made a donkey vote?
Absolutely not! That's not seeking diligently! Has it been easy to find such persons? Sometimes, sometimes not. But I believe God expects it of me to diligently try. It has also resulted on occasion voting for a candidate in my electorate who does NOT belong to the party I'd prefer to win, due to the fact that they match the mandate, but the candidate in my electorate representing my preferred party does not!

Is someone who is honest and wise to me going to appear the same to someone else? I certainly don't expect that to be the case.

So, I hope that that may shed some light on my political stance.
And just to clarify for you literalists out there, champing at the sexist bit regarding the above tenant:

During that time have I ever voted for a female candidate?
Absolutely!

May you all seek diligently your honest and wise candidates before you vote tomorrow.

Cheers!

After Two and A Half Years...

For more than two and a half years I have been doing what once I would have considered inconceivable. For the first year consisting of two visits a week, then once a week,  I have been seeing a psychotherapist.

On Tuesday,  the twenty-fourth of September, I had my final visit. I said farewell to someone who has become a dear friend, and now knows more about me than I know about myself. She is moving interstate and so, like a bird with a once-broken wing, I am being set loose into the wilds.

I have such mixed emotions right now, but things are good. I have changed a lot over the time I've been seeing Lizanne; I am certainly not the dazed, confused, and outright suicidal blubbering mess that presented at her door the day before being admitted to hospital.

But some things haven't changed.

I  still  struggle with major anxiety, being prone to panic attacks at totally unpredictable times. I wish I could do a brain switch with those who cannot comprehend how real these are. The bouts of depression certainly are less severe, but the black dog still visits. Crowds still freak me out, and to be honest, people freak me out! If I can avoid social gatherings, I usually do. Meetings kill me; if I turn up to one it is a miracle - if I participate,  even more so. I also still have a hard time accepting praise, belittling the reason for it, not feeling worthy of it. Praise is just awkward!

That being said, I feel joy once more! What may be insignificant to many has taken on new meaning to me; the exquisite taste of banana, fluffy clouds (even snow clouds!) the swirl of the Milky Way overhead on a clear night, the tantalising odours of the main local restaurant strip, a walk in a rainforest, a dip in the ocean, or lake, all bring joy where once there was none.

Mental illness is a cruel, insidious, deadly brute.  I deem myself incredibly lucky to have a tender, long-suffering wife who has been and continues to be an incredible strength to me. I have been fortunate to have received incredible community health nurses, who have shown genuine concern and given professional care. I have the utmost admiration for such amazingly dedicated professionals. I have (after some very disturbing and horrific mis-fires) been put on medication that, although not without its side effects, has smoothed some of the bumps and dips. I consider myself most fortunate that work has been very supportive, and that I have some at work whom I call true friends, who put up with me and watch my bottom - er - back. Family and friends have been of immense support. And there have been a great couple of podcasters who have on innumerable occasions put wind in my becalmed, cabin fevered sails, and made me laugh inappropriately in public. They may never know how much influence for good their hilarity has done.

And I am grateful that after one bad experience with a therapist, and an ineffectual one with another, the community Psychiatrist put me in contact with Lizanne.  I STILL don't know how conversational psychotherapy works - the sceptic in me is still incredulous at what these sessions have done for me. But they have, I totally concede, been of immense benefit.

The mountain that overlooks the city in which I live has been the topic of many a session; it is another source of joy. After riding home by bus after a session that happened on the same day I picked up my new camera (another source of joy!) I stepped off the bus and happened to glance up at the mountain. I was in awe - so much so that I walked a hundred metres away from my house to get a better shot. I had the photo printed on a small canvas as a "thank you and farewell" gift. She was a bit overwhelmed,  as was I. She said that she'd love to put it in her new consulting room. We discussed that a bit and concluded that some may find it foreboding and gloomy. It just shows how far I've come, I guess. This image makes me happy!

So... I'm therapist-less. I'm not seeking a new one; the thought of picking at newly formed healing scabs makes me... well... depressed! So I'm going it alone - except I'm not. There's all those I mentioned before with me, plus others. If you got this far reading this... stream of consciousness, then you are probably with me too. No doubt there are going to be some times of turbulence, and times that I'm not going to be so fun to be around (that hasn't changed!) but I'm hoping I can tolerate all this company.

Thanks!

Pandora's Briefcase: It's in the Can

For those who haven't twigged yet, Pandora's Briefcase contains my collection of obsolete media storage mediums. "Obsolete" is a fairly nebulous term, and today's entry is a fine example of that.

"I'm off to see a film tonight!"

Pandora's Briefcase: Pictures came and broke your heart, Put the blame on...

I have my very own cube.

Rob gave it to me, and was really what started the ball rolling as far as the contents of Pandora's Briefcase is concerned. So you can blame him.

OK, it doesn't quite look like the one in the picture above, but it is similar.

Honest!

Let's open up Pandora's Briefcase, and check out this beastie!

Pandora's Briefcase: UM. D-on't know what to say about this one...

It never ceases to amaze me the efforts that some companies go to develop a new "standard" in recording media, even when there appears to be no interest from other companies to adopt. And there is one company that seems to love jumping in boots'n'all on a regular basis... and failing almost as regularly to set a new standard that others adopt!

And, no, my six-year-olds have not seen this film!

Pandora's Briefcase: Insert Some Pun Related To Item-In-Question HERE.

The Pandorica opens once more!

I still remember the excitement when my sister brought home the first computer to live in our house. It was an Amstrad 464 with colour monitor and built-in tape-drive. What's more, my sister also bought a disk-drive peripheral! We were living in the future, and it would not be long before we would all have our own rocket-packs, and robots would be doing my homework for me...

*sigh*

I know not where that thing-of-beauty that created many an hour of "Elite" space-sim adventure now resides. I do, however, still retain a reminder of this once-mighty machine:

Testing a Mobile Blogger App

This test is two-fold; to see how usable this app is (who knows, it may mean I'll blog more frequently... pfft!), and to see if anyone is actually following this any longer- if you're out there, say "hi" in a comment!

The dust on Pandora 's Briefcase grows thick...

Testing multiple photo display.

I patted this kookaburra!

Well...let's see how it goes, shall we...